When does something jump the shark from cool to schlock?

That's a tough question - even tougher is "When does it pass back from schlock to cool?"

Take swing music. All the rage in the '30s and '40s, it was the rock 'n' roll of its heyday. Duke Ellington and Count Basie were the bee's knees, and the stodgy establishment types hated their sinfully raucous music and the exhibitionist dance moves it encouraged among its revelers.

Then came the '50s and rock music was born, plunging swing into the annals of yesterday's news. Women were swooning over the King and Buddy Holly. Swing was nowheresville, man.

Then, somewhat suddenly and a little unexpectedly, swing was hip again. Sure, it was a few generations later, but Air Jordans and ball caps gave way to spats and porkpies. Jitterbugging was cool. Nightclubs filled with people dropping $10 covers without looking twice, the derby was enjoying a renaissance and suddenly everyone knew who Marty and Elayne were again (granted, much of that was due to one movie, but nobody ever went broke underestimating the suggestibility of the American moviegoing audience).

And then it was all over again.

This is the kind of tangent my mind takes when I think about the Hard Rock Cafe. When I was a kid, the ubiquitous Hard Rock Cafe T-shirt with the bold yellow circle and neo-Americana font in deep red was as valuable a trading card as an Eric Dickerson rookie - depending on how far away the city underneath the logo was.

The coolest kids had been to one, and when I got my first chance, in Washington, D.C., I blew all my cash on that T-shirt and a few pins.

It's a different scene today.

Denver's had a Hard Rock Cafe for a decade, and I made my first trip inside just a week ago. It's exactly as I expected it to be: a big, rock-themed room with high ceilings and museum-quality memorabilia on the walls.

A T-shirt worn by Jimi Hendrix.

A pair of Johnny Cash's shoes.

One of Hunter S. Thompson's typewriters.

Yes, this stuff is cool, but it's really the main reason to go there. The Hard Rock Cafe really isn't the kind of joint where you and your friends go to hang out.

For one thing, it's in the Pavilions, which is probably the top tourist destination in Denver (What? Not the Mint? Who woulda guessed?), which means it's gawker city for the fanny-pack crew. (Yes, that was me in D.C. all those years ago. The irony's not lost on me.)

For another, it's pretty sterile - not in a cold way, but definitely in a "servers-are-graded-on-the-number-of-teeth-in-their-smile" way.

If you have the in-laws driving in from Billings, the Hard Rock might be just the place they're looking for.

At least until it gets cool again.

Hard Rock Cafe

500 16th Street Mall, Suite 120

303-623-3191

* No happy hour to speak of, although the servers all seem really happy.

* Live music on rare occasions - look for a "grand gala" to celebrate its 10th anniversary in the coming weeks

* You can buy a T-shirt there. Or a $300 leather jacket that says, "I bought myself an expensive leather jacket at the same place I bought a hamburger."