CSAP testing is beginning again and my 10-year-old daughter, Grace, is home studying Sickle Cell Anemia. Her father and I opt her out of the test because the scores are used to label schools, even though the test is not designed as an indicator of school quality.

My 8-year-old daughter Sophie keeps asking if she can please take the test next year in the third grade. She’s a fragile little soul. She’s been watching how during CSAP week children get special snacks, extra recess, and ice cream parties at the end.

She’s also heard that some administrators exclude children who don’t take the test from advanced programs, extracurricular activities, and in some cases, prom. She doesn’t understand why she can’t go along with all of the other kids.

So I explain to her that over the course of America’s history people have had to take a stand even though it meant being different. I tell her how it took nineteen years of protests, petitions, boycotts and demonstrations in order for her and women to be able to vote. I share the story of Rosa Parks and that day fifty years ago when she was too tired to give up her seat to a white man who paid the same fare as she in order go stand in the back of a crowded bus. I sit her in my lap and I tell her that it is courage that informs our decision and that we want the best education for her and every child - so much so that we’re willing to stand out even though it is uncomfortable.

Yes, there are other mothers who won’t look at me and still others who give me dirty looks and whisper to each other. They have not yet made the connection between high-stakes testing, shorter recesses, larger class sizes, and laid-off teachers. They complain about Everyday Mathematics but they refuse to accept that the same publishers of CSAP also own the Wright group and are dictating all curriculum decisions. Some parents silently praise me. They say they would opt out too but.. Unfortunately, they have bought into the lie that opting out will cause their schools to lose funding. Schools do not lose funding based on the number of children who do or don’t take the test. Only Title I schools have a small portion of their funding re-directed to improve test scores, something administrators are already spending money on.

I don’t have anything against standardized tests. My daughters both take the MAP test and the CogAT. However, when a standardized test is used as the sole indicator of teacher quality, student achievement, and school success, we reinforce the wrong kind of learning and the lowest levels of thinking. The pressures associated with high-stakes testing and the subsequent ratings turn our classrooms into hostile territories and some teachers and administrators into bullies. They too are victims of a failed ideology and they make poor decisions out of fear.

I’m afraid too - afraid that in our country where we have capitalized on our differences, and prospered because of innovation and collaboration, that we will now graduate an entire generation with the same mindset and identical skill set. I’m afraid that our classrooms are beginning to look a lot like factories. I’m afraid that CEOs are having far too much say in the educational decisions compared to the teachers who spend each day with my child. I’m afraid too that leaders aren’t listening to parents who believe that a balanced childhood is the best preparation for adulthood and an uncertain future.

As I drop off Grace at the end of the morning and watch her make the journey to the school room door, I see the courage in her too. I whisper a prayer that someday her education will be for the purpose of pursuing her own destiny, not a school rating, a state standard, or a national goal. I pray that she will not have to stand alone for fairness, opportunity, and respect for our differences, but that she will be joined by others. Perhaps then someone will be listening?

Angela Engel is a resident of Centennial.