Hey, you! Hate to disturb your reverie, but remember how you were going to get around to doing something about Valentine's Day? Well, it's tomorrow. But you're in luck: It's not too late to pick up the perfect wine.

Wine is the perfect present. It connotes luxury and pleasure. It lubricates both food and tongue. And, in the case of the following delicious wines, it sends a message. Forget Hallmark, let these labels and bottles do the talking.

From Argentina, Romance Red and White, $11 each, are surprisingly tasty despite the generic name. Feel the beat with Haart to Heart Mosel Riesling, $12, from Germany, or Kris' Heart Merlot Delle Dolomite, $13, from northern Italy. Or try the meltingly plush Hartford Court Chardonnay Four Hearts Vineyard, $35.

If you prefer sweet nothings whispered in a foreign tongue, you can get a lot of amore for your Euro with Tortoise Creek's Les Amoureux, a French label featuring a pair of love-struck turtles and a range of varieties, all $8 (best bets for romance: the viognier and syrah).

Attention would-be Romeos short on cash: $5 gets you a bottle of Primo Amore Juliet, a fragrant white blend of garganega and moscato bianco from Italian producer Zonin. Or try Hugel & Fil's Cuvee Les Amours Pinot Blanc, $13, a voluptuous yet elegant white from Alsace.

For the redder-blooded, there's George DubÂ?uf's St. Amour, $15, a cru Beaujolais from France. Bordeaux lovers like the 2004 Chateau Calon- Segur, $50, from St. Estephe for its curranty opulence.

Perhaps your plans are less romantic and more, shall we say, athletic. But you don't know how to make the move. Pick up a bottle of Laely Heron's $16 Spanish red, Sexto. The name refers to the six-grape blend, but it will do its subliminal job. Too subtle? Try Snoqualmie Naked Riesling or Gewurztraminer, $10 each, from Washington state, or Four Vines Naked Chardonnay from Santa Barbara, $15. You'll nudge the conversation in the right direction with Australia's Mollydooker Goosebumps Sparkling Shiraz, $45, which tastes like a deep, red, fizzy love child of Bordeaux and Champagne.

Piper-Heidsieck NV Brut Jean-Paul Gaultier Cuvee Champagne ($100) - with its lipstick-red vinyl corset, whose laces barely contain the curvy bottle - would turn even the staunchest prude's mind to thoughts of bodice-ripping.

If you have no shame at all, bring home a bottle of Dievole Fourplay Red, $15, from Sicily, a Nero d'Avola-based blend. Or the super- lush Seduction from Napa Valley's O'Brien Family vineyards, $32. They claim the giant "O" on the bottle is for their name, but you won't even see it till you've stripped off the filmy maroon peignoir it comes in. Ladies making the move, check out CrauforD's Kilt Lifter, $28, a Napa Valley zin with an attitude.

Like with greeting cards, you can find the right wine for surprisingly specific occasions. For example, JC Cellars' The First Date, $28, a delicious mating of rousanne and marsanne from California. Or Folie u Deux's Menage u Trois, $14, a threesome of chardonnay, moscato and chenin blanc. Oriel's Femme Fatale Bordeaux Rose, $18, is just what the librarian needs as she tosses off the glasses and lets down her hair. And who knows what will ensue when you pour M.D. Phillips' luscious California zinfandel, Seven Deadly Zins, $20?

Wine can stand in for more than just the card. Banfi Rosa Regale, $20, sparkling, red and lightly sweet, exudes enough rose-petal aroma to save you the florist's bill. Osborne Pedro Ximinez, the darkest and richest of sherries, is as chocolaty rich as a box of truffles. Finally, wine can even stand in for jewelry. Both Hundred Acre Gold Chardonnay, $28, and L'Or de Parigot Cremant Rose, $90, sparkle entrancingly with flakes of 24-karat gold. If that ain't love, what is?

jester@corkjester.com