* Nonfiction. By Anne Roiphe. HarperCollins, $24.95. Grade: C-

Book in a nutshell: Roiphe was nearing 70 when her husband, a psychoanalyst, suddenly died of a heart attack after their 39 years of marriage. The widow writes about how this loss turned her life upside down in unexpected ways.

She had relied on him for so many small things, from unlocking doors and tending to the bonsai to cooking every meal. Emerging from her shock, she attempts to move on by seeking a new companion after her daughter places a singles ad about her in the New York Review of Books. She also stumbles through her own searches on an Internet dating Web site while debating whether it would be better to fill the balance of her life with a new man or to live alone.

Roiphe, an editor and author of 15 books, including the National Book Award finalist Fruitful, also has written for numerous magazines.

Best tidbit: Roiphe is contacted through Match.com by a 75-year-old widower who seems nice enough. But after meeting him at the botanical gardens, she learns he's actually 89. The computer program, he said apologetically, wouldn't allow him to enter a birth date as far back as his, so he just put the maximum allowed.

Pros: The author's writing is best when describing her amusing thoughts on potential suitors ("the small man (who) looks like Woody Allen with a bad cold. God knows what I look like to him" ) and in the self-criticism added to them ("My face too must look like an old rubber boot left at the bottom of the closet many winters ago." )

Cons: Despite such writing sparks, too many of Roiphe's musings fall into self-pity. This is surprising coming from a professional woman who in the '70s was praised as a daring "feminist" writer.

Final word: This memoir doesn't hold a candle to Joan Didion's passionate, intimate and moving 2005 account of her own personal loss in The Year of Magical Thinking.